10/5/11 - 19 weeks!

So here we are... almost to the halfway point... 19 weeks. 

I am getting bigger... it's amazing, really. I am not sure why I am so much more freaked out about this pregnancy than the last 3... I.Just.Am...
Even though I have not had to deal with infertility or multiple miscarriages... I still worry. I think I worry too much.  I am constantly thinking about the twinges, pain, lack of movement, etc... Then I have to remind my self that really... there is nothing I can do.
I look at the milestones that a pregnant woman needs to reach to feel at "ease" and I know 12 weeks is important... then you have to make it to the halfway point - 20 weeks... then the marker for viability at 24 weeks... no one wants a micro premie... then 28 weeks... 32 weeks... finally the 36/37 week mark so that you are "full term" ... all of these dates  are important in their own right...
Honestly I am not sure where I was headed with this post other than to write some thoughts down...

October - Blahtober...

Friday, October 1, 1993 is the day that my life changed forever. My mom passed away. She was 57.  I remember yelling at her because I couldn’t find a check she had written for the chocolate bars that I had to turn in the next day… I remember being mad and hanging up the phone and cursing my self and calling her back to say I was sorry… I said “I love you mom… Diana is here and I will see you in 20 minutes…” We were going up to see her at the hospital and we were planning on her coming home in the next few days.  I remember the long walk down the hallway to her room. The page overhead of a code blue.  I was 13 – I didn’t know what that was at the time.  I waited outside the room as the Dr’s and nurses tried to bring her back… but her heart couldn’t take this last heart attack… she died.  How I wish things were different. I wish that she could have seen me graduate high school.  I wish she could have held her granddaughter when she was born… My 1^st daughter… But that is not possible.  I wish things were different.

The SCARIEST Moment of My Life!

All it takes is a moment..
This little guy right here - Mr Independent - was under water... the only thing that was out of the water was his hand - reaching for something.  If I was one second faster I would have jumped in the pool my self - but my husband was in there with his cell phone in his pocket grabbing our little boy out of the water.
That vision will forever be etched in my memory - the sight of his blond hair - COMPLETELY floating around him- the look in his eyes (they were open) his little hand reaching for something- anything... One moment...

This is new to me...

Not real sure what I want to write. I am not repeat NOT a writer – in fact I suck at it… This is why my job requires my attention to numbers… but I hate math too so go figure.

This is going to be painful because I ramble.. so forgive me – but this is me.

I am a wife to a wonderful man.  Not sure what I am going to call him on here – maybe master blaster. That name always makes me laugh…

I am a mom to 3 crazy kids. Alyssa 8, Ashlyne 6, Clayton 4, and one on the way in 2012…

I work in billing and stuff invoices almost every day… but it pays the bills

Testing the water.

This is just a test. Want to see how this works.